


Crazy Little Thing!

by MagicalStranger13



Category: Strange Magic (2015)
Genre: F/M, Human AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:11:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4154862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalStranger13/pseuds/MagicalStranger13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunny loves his new house, but he's quick to make enemies with a strange, white, stray cat that wanders onto the property and won't leave him alone!  Now, his wife Dawn wants to keep it as a pet!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy Little Thing!

**Author's Note:**

> Finally finished this one! It's been cooking forever!  
> Time for a little Potionless love!  
> This is meant to take place in the Truth or Dare Human AU. Hope you guys enjoy!

“Dawn, baby, I am _begging_ you!  Please!  If you want a pet, we’ll go get a pet.  _Any_ pet!  A hundred; a _thousand_!  Just, _please_ , not-!”

“I want _this_ pet!”  Sunny’s wife insisted, cuddling the ivory demon in her arms.  “I want this cat.”

“Honey, that _thing_ is _not_ a _cat_!  It’s the devil in a fur suit!”

Dawn rolled her eyes at her husband with a chuckle and nuzzled the animal’s head.

“ _I_ think he’s _sweet_.”

“You haven’t seen what I’ve seen, Dawn!  You haven’t been dealing what I’ve been dealing with all week!  I’m telling you, it’s a _monster_!” 

“He’s just been bothering you because he wants attention.  He’s _lonely_.”

“It’s _evil_!  He put a dead mouse in my work boots!”

“That’s just a cat’s way of taking care of you.  He brought you, what he thinks, is food.  Besides, if you kept your boots in the shed instead of on the porch, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Sunny glared at the creature his wife was so adamant on defending.  He and Dawn had only been in their new house for a week, and so far, the _one_ horrible downside to living in this suburban oasis was that goddamn cat!

It had been nothing but a pain in his ass since day one.

On moving day, Dawn’s sister, Marianne, and her boyfriend, Bog, had come out to help them unload the boxes and furniture from the van. 

As Sunny had stood next to Bog and directed him as to which things needed to be brought in first, he’d stepped forward to grab one end of the coffee table, only to feel an awkward yank backwards.  When he turned to look, he came face-to-face with his future mortal enemy. 

While he’d been distracted, the cat had crept up behind him onto one of the square brick posts dotting the waist-high, wrought iron fence lining the front yard.  Silent as a shadow, it had scooped up the dangling chain he wore to secure his wallet to his belt loop and hooked it over one of the fence’s spikes with its paw.

He remembered being stunned for three reasons: 

Firstly, that it had managed to do what it did without his notice.  Secondly, that it was willing to get so close to a human it didn’t know.  And finally…

…how _strange_ it looked. 

A light dusting of grey accented its white coat.  Its ears seemed too pointy and were unusually large for its head.  The fur on the extra-long tail seemed thinner than anywhere else on its body.

But the worst part were the _eyes_! 

They twinkled mischievously at him and were so dark, they appeared midnight black instead of the ordinary green, yellow, orange or blue.  He remembered wondering vaguely if it was possible for it to be part rat or opossum. 

Sunny had instantly felt a surge of dislike and as he reached to unhook himself from the fence, the cat suddenly leapt at him.  A cry of alarm had burst from the man’s lips as it hopped on and off his shoulder, but by the time he whirled around, the cat was gone. 

Unfortunately, his yell had gotten everyone’s attention and that had led to a frantic five minute argument about how there really _had_ been a cat and that it really _had_ hooked his wallet chain to the fence and that Bog needed to shut the hell up because he did NOT scream like a little girl!  The asshole had been reaching into the van for a couple of dining room chairs and had missed the whole brief exchange.

For the rest of the afternoon, even after the storm had forced everyone inside for the night, Sunny didn’t see the cat again until everything had been moved into the house and Bog and Marianne had gone home the next day. 

Ever the meticulous decorator, Dawn had banished him to the outdoors to get started on their lovely property landscaping while she arranged everything in the house to her designer taste.

He’d mowed the lawn, weeded the flower bed and poured the fresh soil without any trouble.  But when he reached for the packet of primrose flower seeds he’d set beside him as he dug the holes, he discovered nothing but an empty patch of grass. 

Confused, he looked around and came face to face with the cat sitting a few feet away and dangling the primrose seed packet from its mouth.

_Hey!  Give that back!_

The command only resulted in a wild chase around both the front and back yard. 

_Come back here!_

As several neighbors eventually gathered on the opposite sidewalk to watch and laugh, a red-faced Sunny became more and more convinced that this crazy little thing wasn’t a cat.  It couldn’t be a real cat.  Cats don’t do this kind of stuff.

Through sheer luck, and some parkour, he was able to grab the seed packet back.  He then promptly shooed the feline pest away with the garden hose.  The next morning there was a puddle of cat piss on the porch steps. 

And thus began a week-long battle of wills between man and beast……and nature was kicking all kinds of ass at every turn. 

Sunny was on his last nerve.  He’d tried everything he could think of to get that fucking cat to go away and leave him alone: 

The hose, the sprinklers, throwing things, chasing, yelling, a motion activated pet deterrent that used sound, a motion activated pet deterrent that uses pressurized _air_ , chicken wire, and _four_ different homemade cat repellent sprays!

What was the result?

Urine puddles on the porch, turd piles in the driveway, small dead animals on the doormat (or in the shoes), a dug up garden, scratches all over the front and back doors and window screens, the occasional swat with a paw, growling, hissing, and endless caterwauling at all hours of the night.

Sunny hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in five days straight!

Not to mention the incredibly annoying and frightening way the cat always seemed to pop up out of nowhere by pouncing at his chest or onto his shoulder.

A few minutes ago, he was standing in the front yard, literally two seconds away from calling Animal Control, when Dawn came home from work. 

As she’d pulled into the drive, the cat made an eager beeline for her and when their eyes met, it was Sunny’s worst nightmare come true. 

Love at first sight. 

The cat wrapped itself around Dawn’s ankles, purring like a motor boat and meowing in just the friendliest manner possible.

 _You rotten liar!_  

Sunny knew how much Dawn loved cats.  Despite his complaining, he still saw that tell-tale gleam in her eyes.    

“I know we’ve already got some bowls we can use for your food and water.”  His wife chirped to the cat, already heading to the porch.  “Sunny, would you run to Petco real quick and grab a cat box, kitty litter and some food for him?  Don’t worry about a collar, I wanna pick that out myself.”

As she spoke, Sunny watched with rising panic as she got closer and closer to the front door.   

It was bad enough that she wanted to keep the most infuriating stray on the planet, but now she wanted to bring it _into_ their _house_?

 _HELL.  NO._  

“No, I am _not_ going to Petco to grab _anything_!  Dawn, I mean it!  We _can’t_ keep that thing!  That’s _final_!”

…

That had _definitely_ been the wrong thing to say and tone to use, for his wife immediately pursed her lips, fixed him with a sharp glare, and cocked her right hip out to the side. 

Her battle stance.

“Oh yeah?”  She drawled in a voice just _daring_ him to try that macho crap again.  “Give me _one_ good reason why not, and it had better be something else besides ‘he-just-annoys-you.’”

Sunny gulped as his brain frantically scrambled for a legitimate excuse.

“Um, uh…erm…ah-ha!  Marianne and Bog won’t be able to come over, because Bog’s got allergies!”

“For the _last_ time, Sunny,” Dawn huffed, “Bog is _not_ allergic to _cats_ , he’s allergic to pet dander, but he’s been taking medication for it since he was _twelve_!  How do you think he was able to keep the dogs?” 

“W-W-Well there an even _better_ idea!  Why don’t we get a dog instead?  You love playin’ with Stuff and Thang when Bog and Marianne bring ‘em over, and we’ve got a nice big yard now!  Houses are less likely to get broken into with a big dog on the property!  They’re good for scarin’ away burglars and squirrels _and_ irritating cats that should be skinned on sight!”  

“Sunny!”  Dawn scolded, not at all interested in his desperate proposal.  “We see Stuff and Thang all the time!  We take ‘em for six months out of the year when Marianne and Bog go on tour!  We practically co- _own_ them!”

“What about the next time they get dropped off here, huh?  Don’t you think it’s a bad idea to have two dogs _and_ a cat in the house?”

“You _know_ Stuff and Thang don’t chase cats!  Marianne trained them herself.”

“But-”

“Besides, I know one single, sure-fire reason you’ll want to _keep_ this little darling _forever_!” 

“There is _no_ way, no _how_ , I will _ever_ wanna-!”

“Aunt Plum _hates_ cats.”

Sunny froze like a popsicle. 

Normally, he was just about the most easy going and trusting human being anyone could hope to meet, but if there was _one_ person on the face of this earth that he could _not_ stand more than that awful cat, it was Bog’s paternal aunt, Sharlene ‘Plum’ Fairchild. 

The woman was _insane_!  In the five years he’d known her, she’d gotten him into more trouble than you could shake a stick at. 

Heck, the very first time he met her was when he had to pick her up from the airport for Thanksgiving.  She’d jumped out from behind a bench and scared the living daylights out of him, then proceeded to laugh and imitate the terrified face he’d made.

But that wasn’t even the _worst_ of it! 

On the way to Griselda’s house for dinner, Sunny had accidentally gone a bit too fast down a back-road.  He’d only been trying to make up for all the time lost shoving the woman’s mountain of luggage into the backseat, but a cop had clocked him at 60mph in a 40mph zone and pulled him over.

It wasn’t a big deal and everything was going fine until suddenly, Plum starting bitching and screeching at the officer, and before Sunny knew it, a regular speeding ticket turned into a trip downtown for the _both_ of them. 

Once the family was called and informed about the situation, Plum decided waiting in a jail cell was the _perfect_ time for a concert and poor Sunny had to endure a belting and slightly off-key rendition of “Love is Strange”, three times in a row before Bog, Marianne and a hysterical Dawn arrived to bail them out.      

Sunny still acutely remembered the feeling of his stomach turning over when he saw how bored Bog acted about the whole thing.  Apparently, knowing Plum, this had gone rather well, for a first meeting.  However, he promised that Sunny would never be saddled with the responsibility of chauffeuring the woman around _ever_ again.

Sadly, it did squat to protect him.

Later on, Plum would be the direct reason he broke his arm on New Year's Day, got locked in Griselda’s attic on his birthday, got food poisoning on Easter Sunday, and had his Jeep totaled on Christmas Eve. 

The last time she was here, everyone had gotten together to see Bog and Marianne’s band perform at a place called the Amber Eye.  By the end of the night, he had to go to the ICU for a broken nose, a dislocated shoulder, and eight stitches above the left eye because Plum had whispered in his ear that the three big goons standing beside them looked ugly _and_ stupid.  And by _whispered_ , he meant, shrieked at the top of her freaking lungs.

 _That_ was on Halloween.  He was starting to develop a holiday-phobia.

…Oh dear God…

The Fourth of July was coming!

The cat practically smirked at him, already knowing it had won out.

Yep, Sunny was screwed.     

At the sound of his defeated sigh, Dawn pressed a giggling kiss to his lips and continued on into the house with a new-found skip in her step while her husband fished his car keys out of his pocket and drove to Petco on deflated autopilot. 

* * *

Life just never cut Sunny a break (except for the awesome times Dawn realized she loved him and agreed to marry him).  The first day of the cat’s in-door habitation had started with some ground rules.  The hell spawn was _Dawn’s_ responsibility, so she had to be the one to:

1.) Feed it.

2.) Clean up after it.

3.) Play with it. 

4.) Keep it off the furniture and out of the garbage and closets.

5.) Tell it to shut up at night.

Well, so far, she done a bang-up job on the first three, but Dawn was a notorious spoiler at heart, meaning that more often than not, she let the cat explore and lounge wherever it wanted.  _Including_ Sunny’s beloved, forest green La-Z-Boy! 

This resulted in Sunny shouting things along the lines of…

_Get down from there!_

_Stop it!_

_Leave that alone!_

_Out!  Out!  Out!_

Which in turn, led to a stern lecture form his wife about not being so mean to Imp; her poor, precious, kitty angel.

Yes, she’d named it Imp. 

Well, at least it was… _fitting_.

As far as sleeping arrangements went, Sunny had wanted the bedroom to be a 100% cat-free zone, especially since he found the weasel curled up on his pillow that first night.  But Dawn snapped at him for trying to shove Imp off the bed, so now the compromise was that everyone had to share.

The biggest thing he didn’t understand was Imp’s fixation on _him_.  It followed him everywhere, slept beside him, jumped in his lap, whined whenever he went into the bathroom or the office and closed the door.

As affectionate as it was to Dawn, it was obvious to everyone whom the cat favored.

Griselda fawned over it, almost like it was the grandchild she kept pestering Bog and Marianne for.

Even as a huge dog person, Marianne didn’t mind Imp at all, and they got along well enough.

Bog more or less ignored it and vice versa.

_Lucky bastard._

Sometimes, Dawn called it Sunny’s tiny shadow.

He thought he’d at least find a kindred spirit in his friend Pare.  The big guy had never liked cats much, but one ‘aww-he’s-kind-of-cute’ comment, had dashed that hope for good. 

Two months after Imp became an official member of the family, Sunny awoke one Saturday morning to an itchy feeling on the tip of his nose.  When his eyes opened, Imp’s face was barely three inches away from his own. 

“JESUS CHRIST!” 

His yelp woke up Dawn and sent the cat bolting down the hall.  Once his pulse evened out, he apologized to his disgruntled wife and sluggishly got up to make the coffee.

Imp was waiting for him on the kitchen counter. 

“Down.”

“Meow.”

“I said, _down_!”

“Meow”

“NOW!”

“Don’t shout at the kitty!”  Dawn’s faint voice called from the bathroom.

“Meow.”

Sunny rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers for emphasis.

“Get down.”

Without breaking eye-contact, Imp stepped off the counter and onto one of the bar stools. 

 _Smartass_.

He got to work getting the coffee ready.  The cat sniffed at his elbow and he brushed it away.

“Meow.”

“…”

“Meow.”

“…”

“Meow.”

“Shush.”

“Meow.”

“I’m not feeding you.”

“Meow.”

“That’s Dawn’s job.  We made a deal.”

“Meow.”

“No.”

“Meow.”

“Be quiet!”

“…”

“…”

“Meow.”

Sunny stormed out of the kitchen.  It was the weekend and _way_ too early to deal with this.  He was going back to sleep.  Dawn would drink the coffee.

Crawling into the sheets he could already hear the tinkle of the bell on Imp’s collar following him.  He sat up and raised his pillow as the cat hopped onto the corner of the bed. 

At that moment, the bathroom door opened and a glassy-eyed Dawn came shuffling out.  She took one look at her husband and the cat and started shrieking.

“DON’T YOU DARE HIT HIM!  WHY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO HIT HIM?!  ALL HE EVER DOES IS LOVE YOU!  WHY CAN’T YOU EVER BE NICE TO HIM?!  WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Her unusual volume level frightened Imp into retreating under the bed, but her emotional outburst and the streaming tears were what worried Sunny.  He could tell she wasn’t really angry at him about the cat.

Something else was wrong. 

“Dawn?  Baby, what’s the matter?”

“NOTHING!”

Sunny got to his feet and cautiously approached her.

“Then why are you cryin’?”

“I’M NOT CRYING!”

“Honey, what is it?  You can tell me.”

“I SAID IT’S NOTHING!  LEAVE ME ALONE!”

With a heart-broken wail, she fled from the room.

“Dawn, _wait_!”

Before he could go after her, there was crash from the bathroom.  Spinning around, he saw that Imp had overturned the wastebasket and was rooting through its spilled contents. 

The guest bedroom door slammed shut from across the house. 

 _Dammit_!

“Hey, stop that!”  He ordered, moving towards the cat.  “Come out of there!”

For once, Imp obeyed him and zipped past his legs......with something in his mouth.

Sunny cursed as he tore after him.

“No!  Drop it!  Get back here you little-!”

Imp rounded the corner to the living room, bounded onto the couch where it quickly deposited its stolen item, and darted out of sight.

Grumbling, Sunny stomped over to pick up whatever it was the cat had taken, but stopped short once he got a good look at it. 

The white color and the long shape made its identification unmistakable.

But there was only one line on the display screen.

His chest burned with disappointment.  So _that_ was what Dawn had been so-

…wait… 

…a second pink line formed on the screen…

Sunny’s throat dried up and his hands shook as he gingerly picked up the pregnancy test and gaped at it.  There was a thrumming in his ears and his skin felt tingly, like he was about to shoot down the first big dip on a roller coaster. 

 _Dawn_!

Despite the daze, Sunny somehow managed to make it to the guest bedroom door, where Imp sat patiently.  He could hear his wife’s soft whimpers inside. 

He rapped on the door.

“Dawn?” 

“Go away, S-Sunny.”

Unable to be deterred about _this_ , Sunny twisted the knob and stepped into the room.  Thank goodness there wasn’t a lock on the door.

Dawn sat hunched on the bed and scowled at him.

“Sunny!  Would you just-!”

“We can’t use this room as a nursery.”

“I-!  Wait…huh?”

“It’s too far from the master bedroom.  I think we should move the office in here and turn that room into the nursery.”

“Sunny, what are you-?”

He held the test out to her.

“It came out positive.”

Dawn’s sky-blue eyes widened, afraid to hope; yet she snatched the stick out of her husband’s hand to see for herself. 

“I…I…”

“You’re pregnant.”

“…I’m…,” she gazed up at him with unbridled joy, “ _we’re_ pregnant.”

Tearing up himself, Sunny dropped to his knees and hugged his beautiful wife around the waist.  He’d loved Dawn ever since their first day together in kindergarten and now she was the mother of their child! 

“How long have you been testing?”  He managed to ask around their mutual sobbing. 

“Since a few weeks before we moved in.  I missed my period twice and I’d been wanting to surprise you.  I knew how excited you were about the house and that’s supposed to be the next step, right?  A career, a house, and then a baby?”

Beaming at the word, Sunny cupped her face and placed a thorough kiss on her lips. 

“I guess…,” Dawn giggled as she wiped her eyes, “I guess I was just so anxious, I didn’t read the instructions carefully enough.  I switched brands because Griselda said this one’s supposed to be more accurate.  I didn’t realize it took longer to get the result.  BUT OH MY GOD, WE’RE GONNA BE PARENTS!”

She shot up from her seat and began pacing the floor, planning out loud the whole way.   

“I gotta call Marianne and Bog, first!  They’ll probably tell Griselda for me!  Then I gotta call Daddy!  Oh, wait!  No, I gotta call the doctor first and schedule an appointment, just to be sure!  Once that’s over with, then I’ll make those calls and go shopping.  I wonder if it’ll be a boy or a girl.  What if it’s twins?  Or triplets?!  OOOH!”

She hurried out of the guest room, lost in designer mode.

“I gotta look at the nursery!  I’m thinking birds!  Maya blue for a girl!  Candy red for a boy!  What do you think, sweetheart?”      

Before he could answer her, he felt a light bump against his thigh. 

“Meow.”

For the very first time, Sunny genuinely smiled at the cat that had once been the bane of his existence.  He massaged its head and Imp leaned into his hand with a loving purr. 

Perhaps, they could be buddies after all.

“Thanks, little guy.” 

* * *

When the Fourth of July arrived, someone failed to mention to Aunt Plum that Sunny and Dawn now owned a cat while on the way to their house.   

Long story short, she broke out in hives all over and had to have Bog and Griselda take her to the hospital, swearing up and down that she’d never set foot in their home again for as long as he lived!   

Imp got a new toy and three extra treats that day, and Sunny made sure he gave his new best animal friend a good, long, cat hair filled, cuddle before every holiday get-together from then on.   

 

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Leave me kudos and comments! I love to hear from you guys and respond to you <3


End file.
